oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
