honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my phone needs a breathalizer
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
