were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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