i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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