so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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