I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
