yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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