apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize