haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
