some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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