all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
