Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
BRING THE BAGELS
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
