Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
