Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
