you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
