i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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