Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
