fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I know her cup size but not her name....
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