That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
