Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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