Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
