The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
