he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
