3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
