just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
