My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
