Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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