I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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