Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Damn victory sex feels great
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
