how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
