Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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