gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
