we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
