True but thats because hes a fetus.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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