the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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