And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
