If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
