I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
