I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
