I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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