Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
