i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
