we're chasing vodka with high fives
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
