the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
