are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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