glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
