oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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