For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
