I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
