I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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