i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
